Exclusive on Cantor/Patraeus Controversy!

Cantor Calls For End to Petraeus Inquiries

By LIENO TIPE

(aka F. Sherwood)

November 17, 2012

In a surprise move very early this morning, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor advocated cessation of any government inquiries regarding an F.B.I. investigation of  General David Petraeus’ relationship with his biographer Paula Broadwell. 

“We, as a nation, move on,” Mr. Cantor wrote in a somewhat garbled statement released at 4 a.m. today. “Very serious challenges, etc. Move on, move on.”

The sudden announcement caught many off guard, as Representative Cantor’s own Republican Party has been among the most vociferous in calling for full disclosure on the matter.

“I admit I was surprised,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner. “But it might be a good idea. As you might know, President Obama won the recent close election, and wants to jam through ridiculous, job-killing, stupid tax increases, so we might better focus our energies there.”

Mr. Boehner’s colleague Mitch McConnell concurred. “Obama didn’t really carry Ohio,” the Senate Minority Leader grumbled. “And I need to concentrate on getting him out of office.”

News of the Petraeus affair first surfaced when the General stepped down from his post as Director of the C.I.A., stating that public knowledge of his past relationship with Ms. Broadwell would make it too difficult for him to be effective in the position.

            
Questions then arose if any breach of national security occurred, and several members of Congress expressed concern that the F.B.I. had not informed them of the investigation.  So it came as some surprise that the matter had, in fact, been brought to Mr. Cantor’s attention several weeks earlier.

            
“Yep,” Mr. Cantor says. “Just didn’t click with me at the time.”

Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee are particularly incensed by Mr. Cantor’s request to halt any further inquiries. “I admit I was the first to gripe that we hadn't been informed about the investigation,” said the committee’s chairperson Senator Dianne Feinstein. “But the Republicans quickly put us to shame in the whining wheelhouse. Then, SURPRISE!, turns out a prominent member of their own party had been given a head’s up all along, and what did the weasel do with that information?  Nada.”

Senator Dan Coats, a Republican member of the committee expressed a different viewpoint. “Yeah, I was a little riled that my pal kept it under his hair,” he said. “But now that he’s weighed in further, I think we can laugh it off.”

The F.B.I. investigation led to the General by a serpentine route, beginning with what initially seemed a routine case of cyber bitching. Jill Kelley, a supposed socialite in Tampa, Florida, told an F.B.I. agent she had received anonymous emails trashing her out. That individual brought the matter to the attention of the agency’s Cyber Crimes unit. The trail led to Paula Broadwell - author of a biography of General Patraeus - and evidence surfaced that the two had been in the sack more than once.

A White House spokesperson believed Mr. Cantor’s request to be particularly specious. “Interesting that he should reach out now,” she stated. “Different spin.” As has been frequently noted, much of President Obama’s youthful staff spends hours a day staring at Facebook and sending Tweets, so their amusement that Mr. Cantor thinks the Patreous affair could so easily drop from sight is understandable.

A Congressional page, who asked to remain anonymous, expressed perhaps a more poignant view: “Yeah, for sure. Cantor clued in his entire posse about the whole deal way back, but Republicans have been all like: ‘Duh, we didn’t know s*&t.’”

The most radical assertion concerning Mr. Cantor’s request suggests he is more involved in the controversy than previously thought, as in maybe way more. The BottomFeed, a sporadic muckraking website writes: “We have it from at least one of our sources that the annoying Cantor is a long-time acquaintance of both Broadwell and Kelley, and we leave that to your imagination.”  Mainstream media have stayed away from such conjecture, including this newspaper.

A spokesperson for Mr. Cantor, who has subsequently become unavailable, was also unavailable.