MORTON’S STEAKHOUSE INTRODUCES NEW MENU!
Morton’s Steak House chain has added new specials to their menu following a dispute involving one of their restaurants The controversy recently unfolded shortly after a group protested outside one of their locations while Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh dined there. Rather than face some of the populace he allegedly serves, the Justice retreated out the back door, and a Morton’s representative called the protestors’ constitutionally protected right to demonstrate “…an act of selfishness and devoid of decency.” The company’s "way, way higher up the food chain" Chief Operating Officer quickly served up an amendment to that comment by mandating the company’s comments in such cases should always be “No comment.”
Possibly concerned that members of the highest court in the land, and other elites, might now be reticent to feed at their establishments, Morton’s quickly introduced these new “Justice Served” items to their menu:
Lettuce Eat Cake. Iceberg lettuce and shredded law
school books served in a colorful hat. Perfect start to a self righteous-repast.
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Coors Blight. Brewed malt beverage
addition to a fine wine list, giving deference to a certain Trump-appointed
Justice. Best served cold.
Thomas’s Tomato. Although he’s best seated in an
eatery dubbed Liar’s Lair, we’re sure Justice Clarence, given the opportunity,
would enjoy this heirloom red fruit traceable to the Middle Ages.
Ice Cream Coney. Yet another mouthful of coldness.
Available in 26 flavors of vanilla.
Let Us Eat This Cake. Overpriced Twinkie in a takeout bag.
Conveniently stocked on kitchen shelf to latch onto as you hightail it out the newly
expanded back doors.
