The Forest

McCain Deploys to Syria!!

SOMEWHERE SOUTH OF ALLEPO

By: LIENO TIPE

       

In a surprise move very early this morning, Senator John McCain landed in Syria to assist rebel forces fighting to overthrow the government of Bashar al-Assad.  His self-induced, unilateral deployment reflects the Senator’s strongly expressed concerns that the Obama administration failed, despite recommendations from the military and state department, to arm the rebels.

“We need to be on the side of any forces throughout the world seeking freedom,” the Senator said as he deplaned from a Boeing 767 specially requisitioned from a major commercial airline.  “The President’s failure to do so prompted me to do the right thing.”

Hastily armed with a serviceable Springfield rifle and stun grenades from a storage room in Washington D.C.’s Marine Corp Museum, the senator from Arizona immediately set off to locate rebels in need of support.

The invasion, although limited in scope, is consistent with steadfast Republican hatred any of the President’s policy choices, including his recent nominations of Senator Chuck Hegel for Defense Secretary and John Brennan for Director of the CIA.

McCain’s leading ally, Senator Lindsey Graham, has joined him in the impromptu military initiative.  The South Carolina congressman, who once claimed to be a Gulf war veteran, although later clarifying that he got as far as Columbia, South Carolina, where he wrote wills and provided other legal assistance for combatants and their families, plans to play a support role, drafting legislation in hopes of legalizing Senator McCain’s adventure.

A White House spokesperson reminded critics that the President is reticent to arm any of the diverse Syrian rebel units until someone actually proves which ones are not anti-Western radicals, but downplayed any tactical advantage Senator McCain might provide.

“Yes, we are very concerned about putting fire power in the wrong hands,” that person said. “But if anyone wants John, we’re okay with that.”