Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year’s Resolutions I’m Not Going to Bother Making This Year

By Lieno Tipe


STOP PROCRASTINATING
"The trick is to decide what to do first.
I'll get a Pinot Noir and think about that."





ORGANIZE DIGITAL PHOTOS
"Old desktop folders, old laptop folders, new laptop,
IPad, Android mini tablet, phone, still on camera...
Maybe I'll have some ice cream first."




TAKE A DRAWING CLASS
"Yeah, but then will it still be stupid funny?"




TAKE A CLASS IN ANYTHING 











"No sense signing up when I've got so many travel plans.
Maybe next semester."




CATCH UP ON READING ALL THOSE BOOKS...


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

NEW CHRISTMAS CARTOON EDITION!!!


Rudy Revealed
The Unfortunate Truth




"If that's for me and it's something that plugs
into a DVR, I assume you kept the receipt this time."





The End of Christmas As We Know It





"Frank, the reason we don't need to invite
your family again is they're still here."









Wednesday, November 18, 2015

SPECIAL THANKSGIVING CARTOON EDITION!!
___________________________________________________________________________



Tuesday
"No worries.  They're only 29 cents a pound!"


Wednesday
Anticipation of The Relatives


Thursday
"At least it hasn't exploded yet."


Thursday Evening
Nightcap


Two a.m. Friday
Nightmare


Friday Afternoon
"If we don't do this today, all the stuff will be sold."


Saturday Night
"What do you mean we're not going out to dinner?"


Sunday Night
Work Nightmare

Monday Morning
Turkey Bagel

Written by Lieno Tipe
Illustrations by Nkey Finghurs

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

CAN YOU NAME THESE CANDIDATES?

The Forest’s cartoonist-in-residence Nkey Finghurs has once again reached new heights, crafting vivid, unforgettable caricatures of the current candidates in the Republican field.  When Mr. Finghurs submitted his work, however, he seemed to have inadequately conducted his research regarding the actual names of his subjects.  We are hoping our faithful readers can assist, submitting their best guesses regarding the full, official names of the individuals these Pulitzer worthy works represent.  Our current editors are at a loss, and attempts to reach Mr. Finghurs have been unsuccessful ever since he cashed his check.

Please see below:


Crankypants Cruz


Fantasy Fiorina


Mike Hucksterbee


Rapido Rubio


Just Jeb


The Good Doctor



The Trumpeter


We trust you have found this Special Political Cartoon Edition of The Forest both edifying and fraught with poignant humor.  If, in your perusal of this page, you happened upon any thoughts regarding the identities of these candidates, kindly share them with the editors. 

Please scrawl the name below each candidate, carefully rip out the page and mail it to:

The Forest

Attn: Can You Name These Candidates Fiasco
P.O. Box 64958544813354
Bratwurst, Minnesota
10000-0000


Thanking you in advance for your assistance  -- The Editors

Saturday, March 14, 2015

THE EMAILS HILLARY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SEE!!

The Forest’s team of hackers has obtained thousands of Hillary Clinton’s emails sent under what was obviously – to even the most casual observer – an account she felt was both personal and secure. A representative sample is presented here, in no particular order of their original transmission. – Lieno Tipe, Associate Editor  

SUBJECT:  Dinner
Willy,
I’m like way delayed getting back from another speech somewhere (yawn!). Could you be a sweetie big time if you’re not savi
ng the world from hunger, etc. and put the pork roast in the oven for din-din? (and no yams or collard greens this time pleeeasse?)
Love ya,
Mrs. Willy

SUBJECT: (none)
Zup?
- Mumsy

SUBJECT: My Appointment
Nats,
I’m in Sri Lanka and obviously won’t make it in for my pedicure and French today. My bad. I’ll totally make up to you. (PROMISE!)
Your favorite customer (and Sec of State),
- Hillary

SUBJECT:  How to Deal With Putin
Sorry, I got nada for you, bro. Try looking on the bright side: at least he’s not a Republican. ;)
- Hillary (Still Sec of State)

SUBJECT: (none)
Zup? (again)
No hear back from you. ; (
- Mom

RE:  My Appointment
Hey, Stanislawa.
I’m in Warsaw (isn’t that weird?) so obviously can’t make it for my massage this morning. My totally bad. For good will, maybe I can find your auntie here and take her to dinner. (Not really, obviously. Sorry!)  I’ll make it up to you.
- Hillary

SUBJECT:  Iran, Iraq, Syria, the Ukraine and a Bunch of Other Places
Dear Mr. President,
Look, I know "on the record" I've kind of whacked you about needing a harder line on FP (foreign policy J) but it’s just about “broadening my base” (should I choose to run). So…no harm, no foul??
As far as Boehner, McConnell, McCain, L. Graham, et al  and that zook T. Cruz, going like starkos about invading even Antarctica and all, no worries.  They won’t actually do anything.  And they won’t have their own Commander in Chief (as in Prez) in the near future, as I plan on taking that job (should I choose to run).
Still BFFs???
♥♥♥Hils (your lady Sec of State)

SUBJECT: (none)
Hey, girl. Still haven’t heard back from you. Not really making a federal case here (ha-ha), and I know you are like for sure completely zotso with a husband, the job with dad’s foundation (and hey hardly to mention the new babe!!)  So I’m totally cool with it.  But when you get a sec just shoot me a line and say hi.
Love,
- Your Mother

SUBJECT:  Not Really Talking Here
Dear Friends,
Official chat between us being not cool regulation-wise, just checking in to mention I did happen to put eyes on Anderson Cooper’s show last nite (he is SO HOT!) re some big $$$ going to your organization.  Way to go!!  (As in kudos in getting mentioned by AC, not in any way talking re what you’re doing for me. ;)
Your BFF (just kind of checking in),
- HC

SUBJECT: My Reservation
Yikes!  I’m in Greenland.  So…guess I’m not making it there for my reservation that was…ten minutes ago. (But who knows? I’m such a klutz at time zones!)
And Bill and I were so looking forward to it! Next time we’ll bring all our friends, promise.
As far as certain restaurants like yours now charging for no-shows, with the cost of everything now, I sort of get it. (But not really.) Must have been totally crazo when I gave you my credit card number for that. I’m sure I can kind of trust your good judgment whether you really want  to do that. ;-)
-- Hillary Rodham Clinton
Secretary of State

SUBJECT:  Re: Belated Reply, Sorry Mom
Hey kiddo, great to hear from you. And no worries! I was just kind of trying to check in lately. So sounds like everything’s way good. And, for sure, dad and I would L-O-V-E to watch little Charley while you and Marc grab din out. No need to drop her off, though.  Dad and I will pick her up whenever you like. (How about now?!!)
Like I said, great to hear from you. Keep those cards and letters coming, girlie. Ha-ha, just kidding (not really).
Love,
Grammy Grams

SUBJECT: Re: Closing My Email Account
Hey, dudes. Yes, let me repeat, I need to close that account you set up for me. (Duh.)  And I’m going to be a big girl about this and take the heat myself.  (Kind of goes to character – you live in your mothers’ basements; I’m the next President.) Don’t ever call me again.
- Hillary Rodham Clinton

SUBJECT:  My Emails
Dear John,
I have to confess I was somewhat confused over the shock and dismay you and your colleagues expressed when it “recently came to your attention” that I have used a personal email account for government business.
As you apparently did not notice, while exercising my duties as this nation’s Secretary of State, I sent thousands of messages under that account to you and your fellow Republicans on a wide range of topics.
Perhaps these vital, official communications mistakenly went to your SPAM folder, in which case I can recommend a good electronic communications technology team for your office to help restore your credibility.
Although it is not my place to conjecture on the ramifications regarding you and your staff not taking due diligence to report any perceived improprieties at that time, or for me to recommend appropriate action you might take presently, you could consider following the lead of your colleagues, who are expending vast amounts of time searching for any messages from me with the hope of turning them over to your own committees.
LOL,
- Hillary (not running for President just yet) Clinton

SUBJECT:  re: No Worries
Yeah, crisis management has always kind of been “our thing.”
Any thoughts for din din?
- Me