The Forest

Ten Ways To Teach That Meany Michelle Wolf a Lesson or Two!!

Those of our readers who watched the White House Correspondents’ Dinner (WHCD) Saturday night are justifiably enraged over the hysterical rantings of the alleged comedienne Michele Wolf, who tossed libelous verbal barbs at pretty much everyone in the room, but worst at well meaning Republicans. We suggest a few simple steps any of us can take in the comfort of our own homes. They may help destroy the disgraceful Wolf’s phony career or, at the very least, give her wretched gas pains.

1. Email Netflix. They're actually going to run her stupid TV show. We’re not telling you to cancel your subscription and give up this portion of your 24-hour binge TV watching.  Just give them a good talking to.

2. Ship out Dr. Scholl’s.  Sure, our president has accosted women; alienated our allies; insulted war veterans, gold star parents and the disabled; given comfort to white supremacists: denigrated his fellow candidates, the courts the FBI and justice system, just for a start. That may have made the lily-livered leftists whine as usual. His loyal followers and wrongly beleaguered apologists knew it was all okay. But this dangerous Wolf woman has said some really, really mean things, so those poor soles (ha!) justifiably need relief now that the shoe is on the other foot.

3. Send Sarah Huckabee Sanders a nice note.  Okay. Some observers did err on the side of alternate facts claiming the craven Wolf insulted the White House press secretary for her looks when, truth be told, she was skewering Sanders for her behavior.  But still.

4. Email Seth Myers.  He helped the vastly boring Wolf in her soon-to-fail career. We’re not saying forgoing this late night change of pace from your Netflix bingeing. Just give him a good talking to.

5. Befriend a nearby accoster. The wimpy Wolf made a lot about guys getting a little frisky sometimes. Give them a break. It’ll make her cry. 

6. Vote for a sex offender. The above on steroids. In her incomprehensible drivel, Wolf implied that supporting one is bad. So do it. It'll make her teeth hurt!

7. Lie about everything. Your chance to act presidential. That ivory tower airhead Wolf berated our president and others on his loyal team for telling a few whoppers here and there. Start your telling your own and encourage friends and family as well. As fudging the facts prevails more than ever, the loser Wolf will realize she’s failed! 

8. Don't watch the WHCD. As you know, there’s plenty of other stuff to watch. It’ll make them sorry they ever hired the b**ch. And she may never work again!  

9. Watch the WHCD.  After Wolf’s criminal slander, we can sleep better knowing we won't see her again. And they can't take a chance hiring any of her East Coast elitist comedian friends, either. Pope Francis will do the speech, maybe. Or, worst case scenario, Congress’s chaplain. Show your support. She'll have nightmares!

10. Send Trump money.  Make that smug Wolf sorry she ever let us know he's short a few billion.  Admittedly, beyond that, you won’t really get anything for giving the guy your dollars, but who does?

 Thanks, as always, for reading.

 Your Editors