CLIVEN BUNDY SHIPPED
TO IRAQ!!
.JPG)
BY LIENO TIPE
SOMEWHERE LOST IN NEVADA
Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy arrived early this morning in
Baghdad as part of an apparent effort by U.S. authorities to lure the outlaw
cattleman away from the ongoing nonsense at his ranch and the surrounding community.
A heretofore little known diplomatic unit, in cooperation
with the Federal Bureau of Land Management reportedly offered Mr. Bundy rights to
continue the illegal grazing of his cattle, and a set of silver-plated AR-15 assault rifles, in return for his deployment to the
strife-riven country.
"The deal makes sense for us," said an official
familiar with the operation. "We gave him something he was already doing
anyway. Given the man's low cognitive threshold, we believed he would not comprehend
the full ramifications of the offer, and we were proven correct."
Authorities had hoped some of Mr. Bundy's armed supporters
would blindly follow their hero into the path of the recent invasion by Islamic
State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS) militia, but that outcome did not occur.
"These guys were all good with aiming their assault rifles at park rangers and invading a small ranching community," the
official said. "We thought we might trick them into facing an actual
enemy, but even they weren't stupid enough fall for that."
A few groups advocating at least some modicum of sanity in
U.S. gun laws proposed an even more radical approach to assisting the Iraqi
government, including a limited draft, and deployment, of individuals owning
assault weapons with high capacity magazines.
 |
| Bundy supporter/felons. Potential draftees? |
"They're so hot to bear every gun imaginable,"
said one gun control advocate. "Let them use them for what they were
designed. Warfare."
Senator John McCain, who has strongly pressed for a more
vigorous support of the Iraqi government, opposed any such strategy.
"The present administration has failed to live up to our commitments
to the Iraqi people," he stated. "But expecting our citizens -
who are simply exercising their constitutional rights under the Second Amendment
- to employ these highly lethal firearms for their true purpose was not what I
had in mind."
Many of Mr. Bundy's supporters, who had crossed state
lines heavily armed in a conspiracy to obstruct a legal court order and openly
threaten officers of the law, have been steadily drifting back home to their
positions as freelance security guards and unemployed members of openly
clandestine militia groups.
"We've proven that freedom still exists in this U.S.
of A. of ours," said one. "As far as Clive, he's a good old boy. Rest
assured we're praying for him."
